One Half
by RK Ryune
Summary: Crop Circles Magazine: MAGIC SPRING IN CHINA CURSES JAPANESE BOY! If only Dib hadn't followed Zim to China, then the two of them might never had to experience Jusenkyo first hand...
1. Jusenkyo

This is an idea I've been batting around for some time. I had several ideas, but this one finally won.

So—for those of you who are not familiar with Ranma ½ , I at least suggest you read vol. 1 to get familiar with the references in this story. And trust me, it's worth the side splits you'll get.

Read on!

-:-;-;-;-;-;-;

One Half

"Wow, look Gaz! We're flying over the Himalayas! That's where the yetis live. And over there, that's the Great Wall! Some people say the bones of thousands of people are buried inside it. It sure is great. . ."

Gaz grunted in disgust. The only reason she was putting up with the Dib-babble was because they were both crammed into Tak's Spittle Runner The only reason Gaz was in such a situation was because she enjoyed Dib and Zim's lame attempts at destroying each other.

And that wasn't happening. "Hurry up and find Zim so we can go home. Bloaty's Pizza Hog closes in one hour and if we're not there before then. . . you will pay." She said all of this without looking up from her GS2.

Suddenly, the Voot Cruiser zoomed by , causing the runner to veer crazily. Zim came over the transmission screen, laughing diabolically. "It's over, DIB! You're too late! My most ingenious plan EVER has begun!" He turned to the side. "GIR! Release the squirrels. . ."

"Yes, m'lord!" the robot grunted off screen.

Dib watched in horror as ten million squirrels poured out of the Voot's cargo bay. He began to scream in defeat, then stopped. "Wait—what are a bunch of squirrels gonna do? And why China?"

Zim chuckled to himself. "Ah, Dib, Dib, Dib. So like you to not understand the beauty of this plan. I guess I'll just have to—"

A loud shriek from GIR cut him off. "SQUIRRELS!" He began pounding furiously on the controls, causing the Voot to spin wildly. Dib watched with amusement as Zim screamed his lungs (or whatever Irkens use to breath with) out. His amusement changed to horror as Zim's ship began to head directly toward his own.

Gaz calmly grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the doomed Dibship.

She landed and watched the explosion as the two ships collided, grunted indifferently, and returned to the GameSlave.

Two screams, starting out faintly, then increasing in volume each second were followed by two splashes, several yards apart.

Dib burst out of a nearby mini-lake (a spring, really) and spotted Gaz. He shook himself off and dashed over to her. "Gaz!" he splutterd, "this must be Jusenkyo! Crop Circles Magazine did an article on it last week!" He ceased talking to his sister and began talking to himself, typically. "Legend has it that the 10000 springs here are cursed! There's this one kid in Japan that turns into a girl because he was here! I bet Zim fell in one! I gotta see this!" He scampered off, the fact that he himself had just been in one never occurring to him.

Gaz only started, eyes and mouth wide in shock.

Nothing could have prepared her for THAT.

She didn't have a brother anymore, no.

She had a sister.

-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;;-

End of Chapter!

So, Dib fell into the beloved Nyannichuan: the Spring of Drowned Girl.

Question is, where did Zim fall in? Eh, it's short, I know. I broke my original first chapter in half, as I realized my chapters (especially in Parallel) have gotten really long. So, after chapter 2, they'll be about a normal length. I just can't stop the writing!

And if anyone thinks Dib being a girl makes room for ZaDr, they are going to be punished. Not sure how yet, but you will not like it.

Push that little purple button and review!


	2. Changes

Wow- eight reviews for my first chapter. That does my heart good.

So, in response to reviewers.

Masochist89 and psychobunny410: you guys are up-to-date on your Ranma. But Zim will not be turning into animals. There are over 10000 springs in Jusenkyo, after all.

Iza: Thank you so much.

NOTE TO EVERYONE ELSE: Invader Iza has just loaned me an unholy army of undead sporks. This is for people who think this should be a ZaDr. You have been warned.

Luna Moona: They do? I thought Zim said that thing about "oh, how will you breathe?" just to distract Dib and get him to look at Pustulio. (Man, that's such a great name.)

Ri2: No, no. The Nyannichuan was Spring of Drowned Young Girl. In vol. 24 we see that everything that falls into it become a very beautiful and well-developed young lady. That's the best part of the curse.

And Firefilly, Dark Ultimate 1 and My little pony freak: I didn't forget you. You rock!

-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-

One Half

Some distance away from the spring into which Dib had fallen, an elderly Chinese man in Mao-style clothing was doddering over to a boy struggling out of one of the springs. "Ai-yaa!" cried the Jusenkyo guide (for that is who it was), "You most fortunate to fall in Nannichuan!"

The boy looked up at him through one purple-colored eye, the other shut tight. "Eh?"

The guide beamed. "Nannichuan! Spring of Drowned Young Man! Most customer search many year for Nannichuan! But you find it first! Much luck for you, traveler!"

The black-haired boy blinked slowly, and stared dumbly at the man before him. "What are you talking about, pig-human?"

A purple-haired girl in a trench coat ran up to the guide, jabbering on about aliens and water and curses. The girl pointed at the boy at the edge of the water. "You! Where's Zim!"

"What? Hey, I am Z-- who are you! And how do you--" his eyes widened. "DIB!"

"Yeah, that-- how do you know my name! I've never--" Dib stopped dead in his tracks. "ZIM!"

Zim was now pointing and staring in shock; namely at Dib's chest, but the rest of him scared Zim pretty bad, too. "You. . . you . . ." he stammered, quavering a bit.

"Zim. . . you. . ." Dib stammered back.

"You're female!" screeched Zim.

"You're human!" shouted Dib.

They screamed this at the same time. After a pause, a metal voice squealed, "LOOKIT ME! I'm a mongoose!" Sure enough, a mongoosey version of GIR shot out of some bushes and began dancing.

Zim and Dib watched GIR dance, metal tail waving back and forth, then slowly looked down at themselves.

In Nerima, Japan, some one thousand miles away, a black haired teenager with a single braid down his back turned to a giant panda. "Hey, pops? Hear that? I coulda sworn I heard two people screaming."

Back in Jusenkyo, both Zim and Dib were examining their new forms. Zim's self autopsy mostly consisted of him feeling his face (read, nose and ears) and muttering "no. . . NO. . ." repeatedly. He did note with interest that his pak was still attached, and still fully functional.

Dib's examination was this. He pulled the neck of his shirt out and looked down. Then screamed again.

His inner monologue (the one we get to hear somewhat often) turned to panic. What would Dad say? What would Gaz say? Oh, wait, Gaz had already seen him. (or was it her?) SO that's why she'd been so freaked out. But, he was a GIRL! He was 14! He was supposed to LIKE girls, not BE one! Especially not one that well-developed! Was there a way to reverse the curse? What if the class found out! What color was his hair, anyway? Wouldn't his particular haircut look weird on a girl? Would he have to buy bras? Would he. . .

The Jusenkyo guide prodcued a tea kettle from some pocket dimension and poured the steaming contents onto Dib and Zim.

Dib looked down, felt his chest, then smiled. "Yes! I'm a boy again!" Zim instantly started screaming, his green skin smoking.

"Over 10000 springs! Find cure at next visit!" the guide beamed. He picked up Dib and Zim, threw them into their respective ships. Mongoose GIR climbed into the Voot with Zim.

As the ships lifted off, the guide waved. "Come Again!"

-;-;-;-;-;-;-

Yay! There you go!

Review!

Oh, and Masochist89 (taking an idea from Blahs Blah 2001) is going on the wall of people who got it right. So. . . what'll happen in the next chapter? Will there be any other jusenkyo madness?

Lemme know!


	3. Unwanted

I am grunting like a moose because I am happy. You all do love me! I KNEW this wasn't a bad idea. YAY! I win!

So. . . Gaz has not fallen into a spring. Yet. I'm not sure if I'll pursue that route, bu-u-ut. .

I'll keep y'all posted.

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM

One Half

Zim decided, while flying the Voot back to America, that he had best reprogram the Computer to recognize his new human bio-signature. He did this through a remote uplink. The last think he needed was to be kicked out of the house because of some stupid water.

GIR was dancing. For some reason, being a metal mongoose was making the little robot extremely happy. Really, the only thing different about GIR was that he had a tail and little ears. And looked mongoose-y. Which isn't a whole lot.

ZIM, on the other hand, looked quite a bit different. True, he looked like he does when disguised, but other than that, he had ears, a nose, five fingers, and eyebrows.

( AN: I know, Jhonen isn't big on drawing these, but I AM and it's my story, so there. I DEFY YOU, JHONEN VASQUEZ!)

And of course, Zim was frowning. Being the thing he hated most was making him very angry. He had furrowed eyebrows. Because he was angry. Grrrrrr. . .

He landed at his base, stowed the Voot away, and contemplated a way to get back to normal. "COMPUTER!" he bellowed, striding over to the Voot bay door.

"Oh. . . so that's why you wanted me to recognize some human bioscan." The computer didn't acknowledge Zim's intense frustration.

"Yes. Find out what is wrong!"

"Uh. . . okay. Can you give me anything else to go on, like a location or something?"

"Find what you can about cursed water!"

There were a few grunts from the computer, and a screen popped up in front of Zim. "Here. Jusenkyo. Anyone who falls in turns into whatever drowned and died in that spring. So. . . you fell into a spring that a human man fell into, thus making you. . . human. You do know that any cold water will make you human and hot water makes you Irken again, right?"

"Yes," Zim growled. After the excruciating pain of hot water, it had started raining, thus making Zim a human again.

"Okay." The computer was silent for a moment, then, "I better adjust the elevators. Being human makes you a lot taller."

Zim's eyebrows shot up. "Mmmmm!" Were he Irken, his antennae would have been standing on end. Apparently, it didn't occur to Zim that a.) due to less gravity on Earth than Irk, he had slowly been stretching over the last four years, and b.) being a human boy would make him average height of humans, therefore making him taller than usual. So, as compared to his show height of around 3 ½ feet, he was about 4 ½ feet as an Irken and 5 ½ feet as a human. Man, isn't science neat?

Anyway, the computer had also tapped the pipelines to get water and such into Zim's house. As a human, he would be needing these. Especially hot water, which the computer was getting right now.

A steamy spray shot onto Zim, returning him to Irken. He screamed and rolled around, trying to put out the burning.

GIR, now back to normal, saddened. "Awwwwwww. . ." he mumbled. "I wanted to be a mongoose. . ."

Zim almost demanded to know a permanent solution other than hot water, but thought of a better idea. What better a disguise than ACTUALLY being human?

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM

Dib, on the other hand was being put through hell. Gaz had pummeled him with water balloons and then forced him into a dress. If that wasn't bad enough, she was now dragging him into department stores and making him buy bras.

Dib knew that Gaz HATED every store except Video Outhouse, but he imagined the only reason she was doing this was because she was enjoying his pain more. And being in a revealing dress with no bra and being as. . . BIG as he was meant a lot of guys were staring at him. Which wasn't making Dib happy. At all.

The torture finally ended. Gaz shoved a Frilly Fantasies bag at him and marched out. Dib breathed a sigh of relief. At least she hadn't thought of dumping hot water on him. That would have been too much.

Once the siblings were back at home, Dib changed into his usual clothes and stared at his reflection. The girl in the mirror was pretty, no doubt. He just could not cope with the fact that it was HIS reflection. She had purple hair (like Gaz), with one very long lock of hair draped down one side of her face. The rest of her hair was pretty short, just barely covering her ears.

Dib took off his glasses. He didn't really need them, except for reading. As a girl, he definitely looked better. Long eyelashes framed brown eyes. He kinda looked like Tak. . . but less scary.

He shrugged and trudged off to the bathroom. A hot shower would be very nice.

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM

The next day, at Middle Skool (Dib's 14, remember) there was a hush as Zim strode into the room. He was normal. True, he claimed often enough that he was, but until now, he really had been everything but. He wasn't wearing that ridiculous pink and black get-up (although it pained him to trade in his beloved Invader Uniform for normal looking clothes.) His clothes resembled his uniform, in terms of style, but they weren't pink.

He sat down in his usual spot in front of Zita. She giggled. Normally, Zita made it known to everyone how much she disliked Zim. But today, he wasn't as weird. In fact, she thought he was pretty hot.

And so did most of the other girls.

Dib stared in shock.

Zim noticed their dreamy looks and recoiled in horror. These human females fancied him! He almost leapt onto his desk to begin a tirade, but then in a thunderclap of OOC logic, realized this might ruin his plan to blend in better. He grinned a little, then waved at the girls. They all squealed.

Dib twitched in pain. This was bad. He reached behind his back ( I don't know why. To stretch maybe) and felt his hand slip into some sort of pocket. He felt around and felt several wooden handles. Yes, my friends, Dib had found his pocket dimension. After some feeling around, Dib found a teakettle. One that was full of hot, steamy water.

In a flash he was looming over Zim, the spout of the kettle inches over the point of Zim's hair. Zim looked up and screamed. Because he no longer needed it, if splashed with hot water, the world would know he was an alien.

Almost reflexive, an arm sprung out of the pack and held a full water balloon over Dib's head, threatening to pop it. Zim now had the upper hand. "I can talk my way out of this, Dib. I always have. But how will YOU explain being a girl? You're already a weirdo," Zim hissed, daring Dib to complete spilling that water onto him.

Dib froze. Zim did have a talent for fooling everyone. He'd done it for several years, whether it was pinkeye, skin conditions, Halloween costumes, or wearing a wig because his only hair looked like antennae. The class was very gullible. Dib sighed heavily and withdrew. Zim had won this time.

Without warning, Bitters slithered in and began the class.

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM

And so chapter 3 ends. Thanks to all who reviewed. Eh… as for Zim being the object of affection here, in Ranma ½, Ranma develops this knack for attracting women and men. Why not Zim and Dib? After all, that's the BEST part of the curse—unwanted affection.

Oh yes, this is going many glorious places. I'm no Rumiko Takahashi or Jhonen Vasquez (who I defy!) but I can be pretty dern funny if I try.

Tak (who is now my Otaku Mascot and is sitting on my window) demands that you review. She's doing that little flashy-eye-thing. And glaring. You better obey her. She's evil.


	4. Secrets

Oh, I'm defying, Invader Johnny. I'm defying him. LOOKIT ME GO!

Yeah, as I wrote "Because of Zim" (and if you haven't read it, you should. I demand it.) I started to realize that I have always, even before this mind-numbing obsession took over, had the very Zim like habit of thinking I am the greatest. I do say things like "Why am I so AMAZING!" and demanding things, and arguing with people who disagree with me, even if they're right.

Which was kinda creepy. And now that I've been writing lots of fan fiction, that whole "losing yourself" thing has begun. I'm fighting it like I would fight off a pack of stampeding zebra, but stampeding zebra are hard to fight off.

Oh well.

This chapter is dedicated to Dibsthe1. I don't know if you're reading this, but I revised it and decided to take the story in a totally different direction. You really made me think about the characters and their personalities, which is in turn affecting how I look at life and this really weird comic idea is starting to solidify. So… yeah. Here's to you.

And so, we blunder forward! OFF I GO!

Doomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoom

So, for the moment we leave The Doom of Ms. Bitters and pan dramatically away from the Skool, away from the earth and into space. This dramatic zooming out speeds up as we see stars rushing past us, becoming streaks in front of us.

Zoom.

Yeah, this is some awesome zooming.

And finally we see bright neon alien billboards advertising various alien eateries. Then, largest of them all, a fluorescent sign announces where we are heading.

"WELCOME TO FOODCOURTIA!" the sign blares, the subliminal messages engraved into it making us think we are hungry.

"Welcome to SHLOOGORGH'S! My name is GASHLOOG how can I help you?" bellowed the Irken behind the counter.

"Lookit the funny man, mommeh!" screamed a small alien child with one tooth and big, super-cute eyes.

"… where **AM** I?" whimpered Ryoga Hibiki, looking around hopelessly.

Doomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoom

Back on Earth, Zim was walking home with a bit of pep in his step. True, human anatomy didn't allow him to march like he always did, but he was slowly adjusting to the odd way of walking. With a smile, he looked up at the darkening skies. There was nothing to fear from the rain today. In fact, Zim paused for a moment, then struck a pose, pointing angrily at the clouds. "I DEFY YOU, RAIN! ZIM HAS BEATEN YOU!"

There was a thunderclap in response.

Back at Skool, it was Dib's turn to stand under the awning and glance hesitantly at the sky. Rain meant cold water. Cold water meant transformation. Transforming was bad. Especially with Torque Smacky and other bullies-become-jocks standing around waiting for a reason to pick on him.

But rain was not to be Dib's problem today. The Skool groundskeeper was watering some nearby hydrangea bushes, and squirted Dib in the process.

Thinking fast, Dib whipped off his glasses, which would be a dead give-away, if, y'know, the trench coat and not-so-happy face t-shirt weren't already.

The jocks glanced his direction, and did nothing.

Dib glanced around, and thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

Doomdoomdoomdoomdoom

Meanwhile, Gaz was crouched near a wall, shivering. It would take a while, but she HAD to get back inside. With her clothes and her Gameslave. Which were currently twice her size. The Jusenkyo guide had been handy when she first fell in, so neither Dib nor Zim knew about it. And now she was mentally kicking herself for not jumping into the spring Dib had fallen in.

Regardless, there was no way they could ever find out. Gaz was very sure to guard her secrets carefully, and this was bigger than ANY of them.

But before she could do anything, a metal mongoose rounded the corner and screeched. Even though the rain was pouring, she recognized GIR with a horrible realization dawning on her.

GIR took one look at her and screamed. "SQUIRREL!"

And then Gaz ran for her life, the string of profanity directed at Zim too foul to publish with a K+ rating.

Doomdoomdoomdoomdoom

So, it has come to my attention that I am rather harsh on Dib. I would like to be fair and be hard on everyone. But… it'll have a happy ending after all. I promise.

Anyhoo, chapter 5 will come soon. New Student Week is boring. I'm gonna register, get a job and stuff tomorrow, but… there's nothing to do in between all of that. So, yeah.

Suddenly, without warning, Ryoga wanders into Rei's dorm room. She looks up from her computer keyboard and stares at him. Without a word, she reaches behind herself and grabs the trusty pervert stick.

"Uh… can you tell me how to get to Nerima?" he asks tentatively. But he has no chance to answer because Rei has chased him out screaming like a madwoman.

And now that I have evicted the pig-boy from my dwelling, you must all review.


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